Dear, I love you! ('Dear' series : Final Ep 03)

Dear, I love you!

You all remember Wharkin, right? You have forgotten? For god's sake, say you are lying! Well ok, check out "Dear, I (Was) Fooled", which was released some weeks ago in this blog. You would get a perfect idea of her.


My son got hold of the letter somehow, the one in "Dear Crush". He somehow understood the top six lines. I didn't want him to know, but I also didn't want to make the series of events - what happened afterward - concealed to you all too.

Me:

After coming back from the department, I talked with her. From 11 till 1 a.m. The direction in which the talk was going, can't be decided. But I was feeling worth giving the time to her. Finally, I decided to meet her in person, and the best part - she agreed. The evening was well spent. We had coffee, we both chatted, a lot of our preferences matched, and overall I was happy. I asked her out one more time - and again she agreed! Yay! I thought the 'solace' would be then acceptance. We somehow were now able to meet here and there. We would also go on a walk in the late night, gossip over old songs - yeah, I felt great. I hoped, she too was having a good time.
Thursday evening, our cultural fest started. We finalized going to the opening ceremony, and I thought of opening my heart out. We enjoyed the show. Walking back from the grounds, I asked her to halt for a moment. Two strangers passed by. I looked at her beautiful face and "I really like you".
"Oh wow! I even like you as a friend!" the reply came.
"No, I mean I have feelings for you, you know..."
And that was the end of it. We rarely ever met after that. Why? I don't really have an answer.

Thirty minutes later, I was sitting on a bench underneath the street lamps. White light. Location - in front of the Cafe Coffee Day shop. There were couples sipping hot tea, and me feeling chilly outside. Such an irony! There were random people loitering here and there, after all, it was the cultural fest. I was constantly gazing below at the ants. They were disciplined and focused. I thought, would they be facing this kind of issue in their life? I wished I could do a study on their behavior.

Time 22.35 P.M. A girl came and sat on the same bench. She was posting something on Instagram. Maybe, the opening ceremony pics. I just got hold of a glimpse of her, and I could say she was looking good, but I had truly fallen for my crush. I developed no such "feeling of being attracted" for that girl beside me. I looked at my watch and stood up. I had no such wish that she would call me from behind.
"Excuse me!" a voice came from behind.
I turned back slowly, with a dull expression on my face.
"Can I know the route to SN/IG Hall of Residence?"
I wished to give a touch of sarcasm in my reply, rather I replied with utter politeness - "Turn back, the building you see there that is your destination" and I started walking.
"Um...Thank you! May I ask something?"
I didn't see this coming.
"Yeah sure!" replied I.
"Can you assist me back? I am kind of separated from my friends. I am confused actually between SNVH and SN/IG."
"You have a mobile phone, right?"
"Yeah"
"You have your friends contact saved?"
"No"
"Eh?! You came with your friends you even don't know?"
"Sort of. I actually came here to meet someone. He was actually in my school and..."
"May I know him? I could arrange a meeting if I know him"
"Presently, it would be nice if I could reach back and have a nice sleep"
"Well, I have a query then - how could you know the correct place to go, if you don't know where your friends are?"
"They had said that they would be just outside, and we all would enter together. So..."

I looked at my watch, time 22.45 P.M. I thought of helping her. I walked her to SN/IG, and she could identify a bunch of people outside. She bid me goodnight, and I walked back. When the right turn to my hall came, I stopped and looked up. Looked again at my watch, it was 23.08 P.M. I moved ahead. After walking a distance of around two-hundred meters, I found another bench, and I sat there. I was pondering, what flaws I had that I was rejected? And I could obtain a lot of points (in this competitive world) against me, to satisfy myself that I was rejected.

I was seriously sitting idle. Some thirty minutes passed. I heard a familiar voice.
"Hello! That was actually not my group, the darkness created a slight confusion"
I looked at the source of the voice. Ah! That same girl again. Can't she leave me alone?
"Oh! I see. And you must have found your group in front of SNVH since you came from this opposite side?" asked I.
"No, they are not there. They had asked to return by eleven. But, I suppose, I missed the deadline" she had a sorry look. I felt that look familiar. A chill went down my spine, a small temporary shiver created a vibration in the entire body. Warmth.
"I am not this straight to ask - but do I know you?" asked I.
"It seems so, you met me earlier tonight. Have you developed some sort of dementia?"
"Developed? The correct format could have been - 'Do you have some sort of dementia?'. You asked the wrong question, girl."
"It seems correct to me. I require an answer!"
"No, I haven't" Her reply - a smile.
"Wharkin!?" I hugged her and asked. In a state of shock, she nodded and embraced me too.

We were out all night long. I never had in this world imagined that I would feel so lively again, after hearing a 'No' from my crush. The state of affairs that followed next in my life can't merely be described in simple words. I could only say, from then on, I always felt great that 'solace' was 'rejection' for me in relation to C.r.u.s.h.

I ended and looked at my son.
He was there with his wife. Standing beside them, a beautiful god's gift - their daughter. Her smile, you can say added another feather to 'the cap of the family smile'. I turned at the bookshelf - my wife. She looked at the book - me, who she has allowed staying with her for so many years. I would like to repeat - "At least she knew where the book was!"
A smile came out, along with teary eyes.
"Dear, I love you!" said I.
"Ah! We are married now for thirty years! Don't be like a child now" replied Wharkin.
"You don't love me anymore?" replied I scratching my head.
"Who is that guy who went to pee in girl's washroom?"
"See, I have explained...".
She kissed my lips while our son and his wife were laughing at what she said.
Oh god! I truly loved her.

- Siba Smarak Panigrahi