Dear, I (Was) Fooled ('Dear' series : Ep 01)

Dear, I (Was) Fooled
(Tip: Read Slowly and enjoy the situation
P.S.: Above tip and gap between passage is important :))

All the pressures that we have ever learned from childhood days - one side, and urinal pressure, another different world altogether! Well, this might be something in that line, I literally have no idea.

I was under too much pressure. In secret code language, known to all - 'Nature's call'. It was in autumn. I was in tenth grade, fifth from the top. There was Wharkin, studious - I really don't know what she hasn't read. You can find any damn book lying in her study room, there would be a tag on each and every different book, summary it seemed. But each would be underlined, scientific journals or papers would be supported with pencil diagrams.

I rushed towards the entrance of the washroom door. Saw the familiarity with my previous memories of closed compartments - and I felt relieved that I was in the correct washroom. I have this phobia that I might enter the wrong one. Yeah, some point or other in your life - might have an experience or at least every boy had the fear in our school! I opened the compartment and something else - and relief. Oh! great sense of satisfaction!

I remembered going into the house of Wharkin one day, she was snoring and it was afternoon. Her mother asked to wait in the reading room - while she goes to wake her up. I waited for two minutes, impatience led me to run my fingers through her bookshelf. Sherlock Holmes - yes, Lord of The Rings - yes, Harry Potter - yes (entire series). I diverted my attention to another shelf, Mathematical Circles - yes, An Introduction to Algebraic Topology - yes (seriously, a tenth-grader?). That sight was enough for a day's depression quota.

I flushed, and I heard voices outside.

"I have this gigantic plan - and you are saying no?"

A girl's voice?! Since when girls started coming into boys?

"What this weekend?"

"Yeah, exactly"

"No way, I have a date"

"Since when our Miss Wharkin has started dating guys of schools?"

What Wharkin? The world seemed to collapse on me. If she finds out that I was in the one for girls, then date canceled. I hastily looked for possible sources of mishaps - no cockroaches at present, well we search that thing first which has the highest probability of causing dangerous situations.

"I had no idea you would be coming here today? Can I help you in some way?" asked Wharkin, who had just got up. Her face was a bit wet - hasn't dried properly. 

"Sort of - I actually required that report..."

"Oh! The one that we have to submit this Friday?"

"Yeah, that one"

And at that very instant cockroach crossed across the hall. The shrillest voice you can ever hear, and she rushed to the windows. I was near one of them, and she was standing beside me. I thanked cockroach, but in the current scenario - if I saw a cockroach, I would curse its entire family.

Till now no cockroach. Safe. They cleaned their hands, and started gossiping - what? seriously what? If we guys have cleaned our hands, we gaze the face in the mirror and then come out. Who the hell talks after washing the face? These girls. Well, until there is no cockroach - everything is fine.

"I wanted to ask you something also...Can I?" I fumbled as I spoke.

"Yeah, sure" replied she.

I looked into her eyes and said it - "Err...I want to go out on dinner this Saturday, would that be possible?" and immediately, I looked at the roof - clean it was, there was though cobwebs in the corner, but overall maintained - there was no seepage! (I thought and simultaneously was giving expressions)

"This Saturday, eight - would that be fine? "

An utterly unexpected reply from the one who scores so high in the school, they have the image - right, the serious one, never talks with many people, bleh bleh.

"That would be absolutely fine" came an instant reply from me, words came out before they were processed.

And here these young ladies, they are talking about their dynamic plan. You judge - they would go to Mrs. Thompson's house in the morning. Take lunch at Wharkin's friend's house. They would then go to the show of Mr. Bamboozle's circus. Dinner at some restaurant - I had lost interest.

"That is the same restaurant that I had planned to go with him!" exclaimed Wharkin.

Now I know the restaurant also. Why has this to happen with me? Simply because, under extreme pressure, I used the different one which was not intended? Who the hell had asked the administration to build similar compartments - well whoever was responsible, the dirtiest fact is that I have not cleaned my hand till now. There was only one source of water - and I had no intention of using that.

"Shall we go to Riverbank?"

"Same thought, I had!"

"Yeah, sure I would meet you at half-past seven near your house!"

"Great. I would be ready. But I had this one question - have you seriously read all these books?"

I asked as I was leaving the house. 

"I bought them second-hand" "Ok" and I walked out.

Seriously, what? I turned back and she was standing there laughing. I smiled and walked back to my house.

Ah! That was yesterday, and this is today - in the washroom intended for the female portion of the school students to use, and I was an outlier. The miracle to be noted was that no other girl had entered after them. I appreciated that, and then I realized it was because girls generally close after they enter into a washroom - some vague memories of the long queue outside their washrooms during the breaks led me to this conclusion. So I had to slip away during the classes.

I killed thirty-two mosquitoes and got out of the compartment after an hour. There was this fear - if I would get noticed by someone, one week of suspension is for sure. And I would definitely hate that. There was no one using the washroom. I went near the door, opened it and closed it. Wharkin and her rubbish friend were again coming. How many times, do they need to gossip, I concealed myself.

Five minutes, random gossip, her friend went out. Wharkin was alone. Why the heck she had to pee?

She opened the compartment I was in! Probability hurts, fifty percent, two compartments in the washroom.

Events followed - A slap, a kiss, I love you, I love you too, why you here?

Everything above happened for the first time. Date and dignity, both were saved!

Siba Smarak Panigrahi