How Much Do We Really Know Each Other?

Jordan stood in front of the camera, mic in hand.

"This is Jordan, reporting live from St. Sulpice."
He paused, tapping his earpiece. "Is my voice clear?"

"You need to be a bit louder," Murphy replied. "But everything else looks perfect. The crowd, the lake, the mountains - beautiful. We're rolling."

Jordan stepped toward a man in the crowd.

"Are you excited about what's happening today?" he asked.
"I am," the man said. "I've never seen anyone try to cross Lake Léman before. I'm into history, so I keep thinking of when Alain Charmey did it for the first time in 1986."
"What's special about today that brought so many people here?"
"It's the challenge, I guess. And he's mostly swimming underwater. That's new."
"Do you know the swimmer?"
"No, not really. A friend told me about it, and I got curious."
"Well, thank you for your time."
"Thanks."

Jordan and Murphy moved through the crowd, looking for someone who knew more. A few minutes later, they found the friend mentioned earlier.

"How well do you know him?" Jordan asked.
"We cross paths on campus pretty often," the guy said. "He's always cheerful. There were days I'd be stressed and rushing to lunch, but he'd stop me, talk for a minute, and somehow I'd feel lighter. We never talked for long, just quick chats about general life or research."
"Did he tell you about his plan to cross the lake?"
"Yeah. I was away for two weeks, and when I got back, he said he was training for this. I hadn't marked him as a swimmer. He told me he'd been taking lessons for a year. I didn't hear anything about the underwater part until I came here and saw it myself. So, that was a pretty big surprise."
"I hope he comes out on top at the end."
"Same here. I can't wait to congratulate him!"

As they stepped away, the rescue boat suddenly began to move. Both Jordan and Murphy had thought the boat should move if there was any signal for help. They scanned the lake but didn't find any. Nothing. Amidst this confusion, they heard someone mutter, "Oh no..."

Jordan walked over quickly. Murphy was still adjusting the camera behind him.

"Do you know why the rescue boat is moving?" Jordan asked.
"It's time," the person said. "Today wasn't supposed to be a full crossing. He only wanted to test how it feels to swim underwater for thirty minutes. The plan was for the boat to pick him up afterward."
"We're still confused about the underwater part," Jordan said.
"He wanted to do something bold. No diving gear. Just holding his breath, coming up once in a while, then going back down. Honestly, it scares me. I've been worried ever since I learned about his plans."
"But he trained for this, right?"
"Training or not, it's risky. This lake isn't a pool. He's not a seasoned swimmer in lakes, and things can go wrong fast."
"Oh, I didn't ask - how do you know him?"
"He's a good friend. We eat lunch together pretty often. I'd say he's stubborn. When he decides something, he just… goes for it. He talked about this plan every time we met for the past two weeks. I kept telling him it was a bad idea, but he never listened."

At that moment, Murphy raised his head from behind the camera and whispered, "They... found him." Jordan let out a breath. 

"Good, then maybe we can wrap up and head back to - " He turned toward the lake and stopped mid-sentence. The rescuers were giving a thumbs-down. The crowd fell into a confused hush. A few people pushed forward. Jordan and Murphy followed.

At the front, there was a person on their knees, sobbing and murmuring, "He shouldn't have lied to me. I never thought he'd go this far."

Jordan crouched beside them. "What do you mean?"

"He hasn't been well for months," came out while barely holding themselves together. "He felt everything was falling apart. He kept saying his life, his career… everything was one mistake away from collapse, and he was afraid that he had already made that mistake. He was scared that people would leave him. He thought he wasn't worth anything. For the entirety of the time, he could not see any improvements in his life; nothing seemed to be working." 

"I can't, after so much effort from me, I just can't. I don't think this was an accident, though he certainly made it look that way. Today was always about escaping the life on this side of the lake. He didn't tell me about it because he knew I would stop him. When I finally found out and rushed here, it was too late; he was already halfway. He came up five minutes ago for air, and I could see it… he had decided that was one of his last breaths. When he saw the rescue boat moving, he deliberately didn't resurface. He shouldn't have lied to me… he shouldn't have…"

The voice broke completely, dissolving into sobs.

Jordan felt his own legs give out. He dropped to the ground, tears running down his face. The rescue boat passed nearby. Painted on its side were the words: "Not a fear in the world". The irony.

Murphy kept the camera running and quietly sat down next to him. After a long moment, Jordan recollected himself and whispered, "In the most connected era of our lives… somehow, we've forgotten how to truly be connected." 

Siba Smarak Panigrahi

An extended epilogue/behind the scenes:

1. First, for those who are probably wondering (or going to message me about how I am doing), thank you for your concern. I am doing much better now. I was (and am) fortunate to have people around me who were patient with me, made me stronger, and made me realize the emotions I go through are completely natural. I should not get bogged down by these emotions; instead, accept them and lift myself above them. This writing is a big thank-you to them, although I am not sure I can truly repay them.

2. Second, I wrote this in third person to remove a massive amount of personal touch. An earlier version of this was more up-close, first-person, and personal. This draft started back in February 2025 when I was going through a tough time. Thankfully, I wrote something else at that time that was more hopeful and endearing (shoutout to Re-thinking Life). This work is a reminder to keep checking on people closest to you. You probably don't know everything they are facing, and they probably aren't courageous enough to share everything. But telling people you are there to listen and maybe help will not hurt.

3. Third, I know this is one of my darker creations. Some of you would absolutely feel I shouldn't have written this (and I am truly sorry). Maybe you can imagine that the swimmer came back all good with the hope of crossing the entirety of the lake next time. I wanted to wrap up this draft in good old 2025. I plan to have non-darker themes in upcoming stories. 

And lastly, cheers to all, happy (upcoming) holidays, and a great time ahead! 

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Most likely, I have lost my readers up to this point. If you are still here, thank you so much! I would like to ramble a few more relevant things below:

1) An excerpt from "Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions" by Johann Hari: 

"...I saw the error I had been making. Now, when I feel myself starting to slide down, I don’t do something for myself—I try to do something for someone else. I go to see a friend and try to focus very hard on how they are feeling and making them feel better. I try to do something for my network, or my group—or even try to help strangers who look distressed. I learned something I wouldn’t have thought was possible at the start. Even if you are in pain, you can almost always make someone else feel a little bit better. Or I would try to channel it into more overt political actions, to make the society better..."

2) A few lines from an epic song from the Bollywood movie, Anari (1959):

Kisi Ki Muskurahaton Pe Ho Nisar
Kisi Ka Dard Mil Sake To Le Udhaar
Kisi Ke Vaaste Ho Tere Di Mein Pyaar
Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai

The closest translation to English -
Offer yourself to bring a smile to someone
Share a shoulder to bear someone's pain
Have love for someone in your heart
This is the meaning of life