I Had To Leave Her Back, Somewhere

I Had To Leave Her Back, Somewhere

After a long span, I came back to my home. Home, sweet home! 

I was doing some assignments in the afternoon, and suddenly out of nowhere, my mother entered the home, with a small girl. The little child was too happy. Her incisors were indicative of the amount of happiness that she was feeling, meeting new people. I just smiled back - I was too busy completing the assignment. 

"What had you for lunch?" asked my mother.

"Water - rice" she replied and smiled.

"Ony water-rice? Nothing else?"

"No. Only water-rice" (How could someone have only water-rice as lunch? LOL!)

"Ok, so tell me where did you live before coming back to our neighborhood?"

"In Dhenkanal"

"Where in Dhenkanal?"

"There is a locality named Bhubaneswar in Dhenkanal, we lived there."

(Dhenkanal is a different district in Odisha state. And Bhubaneswar is the capital. Bhubaneswar in Dhenkanal - a mere scam in her brain)

I couldn't stop laughing. Small children, they are happy. No worries. They are simply beautiful creations of the lord. She was unaware of the facts and that I think is the source of all the smiles she had. I paused my assignment and went to re-live an experience that I had last summer.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had to go back to my institute after two days of stay. I had come to my home to experience Cyclone Fani, I suppose. I had no idea, why I came to my home for two days. I got emails from professors that they are showing answer scripts on Monday, so I had to leave on Sunday. Due to cyclone, almost all trains were canceled. But thankfully, there was one train.

I was standing on the red tiles. Platform 4. I was having only a violet suitcase. I was there at the station from noon, and it was now three o'clock when it arrived. How much cursing the train was hearing from every random traveler, only it had the power to know! Travelers should also understand the problems of the train. It was running with the hope that there would be no danger on the entire route. Poor train.

Train(as it halted): Yeah, curse me. Better let me halt. And then beat me, that would most probably exhilarate you all, right? I am your only savior, but you all people - you don't understand each other, let alone understanding me. (It saw that I was neither cursing nor had any intention of hurting - I was simply waiting for it to halt) Oh! That poor chap again! (It sort of realized the familiar face of me). I suppose you last enjoyed my seats, in the last summer, right? Oh crap, he can't hear me.

Me: Okay, after one year, here I am on the expensive way back to the institute. (I touched the feet of my parents, and entered the train). Seat number - 19. Ok. Let me put my luggage.

Mere two minutes later, a family with a small girl of five (I suppose) sat opposite to me. After the next stop, the train was almost filled. The train started again.

Me(to myself): Ah! I miss my childhood. No tension. There was no exam, no fear of losing marks if I don't see the answer scripts. No work or assignments. I could play, roam here and there. I consider my current scenario - well I love what I am doing, exploring interests, making nice friends - but wandering as such, not a good idea. When no-one is there to talk random stuff - feeling aloof. But look at her. She goes from one end of the coach to the other end. Here it is being considered to have a great sense of humor as a positive aspect of one person to impress someone - look at her then, no sense of humor - but capable of making everyone smile!

I drank some water.

Me(to myself): Here she comes again - and asks, "is the tree moving? I have not seen any tree moving near home" Her mother goes into a smile and speaks - you will understand later, the train is moving - trees are not. 

"But momma, see they are running too fast. I am unable to count them!"

And all she received was a smile again. She got busy looking at the trees. I looked at the trees too.

I can't ask the same question now. I know the reason, the truth behind her observation. Also, I can't make her understand. I looked at the changing scenery outside. Life is running like that. I know why it is running, but can never make them understand the reason. It is my life, even if I try to make them understand, they would have a lot of queries. Thus I was quiet, both in front of them and the small girl. A question struck my mind - Is it better to know a lot of things, or better not to know and be a child? Had I an option I would have remained a child.

As the train approached Hijli station-

Train: Oh boy! You have been given the best of the friends one can expect. You have great parents. They care for you. They love you. Your friends love you. You can always remember her - but alas, you can never be like her. You have reached your destination. Now, go out. Conquer all of your dreams. I have all your memories, reflect them - get inspired - move ahead.

I jumped to the platform. Thanked it. I realized that I had to leave the little girl somewhere - I had to leave my childhood, to grow old. But I have the memories. And here I am, to create new memories. I called a cab, bargained and reached my hostel.

Are we too busy to remember our childhood? No, not at all. We could always jump on the train and reach our home!

- Siba Smarak Panigrahi